New Year, New You? Practical Steps to Our Lofty Resolutions

A new year is upon us and with that many people are hopeful for change by making new year's resolutions.  There is something promising about a new start with a new year.  Come January 1st we feel like we can wipe the slate clean and start fresh.

Whether we are hopeful for a new job, to lose weight, find a love interest, or whatever else our hope may be, we often set ourselves up for failure with our shiny and bright new year's resolutions.  One study from 2007 found that out of 3000 people in the study, 88% of participants who made a new year's resolution failed to keep that resolution! So, why is it so hard to keep a new year's resolution?  Why can't we commit to our resolutions and promises to ourselves?

I believe it's because we do not make our resolutions practical!  Our resolutions are too lofty, too abstract, and too big to become realistic.  Our hopes are just too hopeful.  We make a great resolution while talking with friends, under the influence, or because we feel we need some change in our lives, yet come January 5th we've forgotten what that hopeful resolution was in the first place.

Instead of creating life-changing resolutions, we need to focus on small, practical daily changes that may not take a lot of effort to tweak.  Here are a couple of pieces of advice to consider as you are creating your own New Year's Resolution:

• Use SMART Goals! A resolution should be SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, ATTAINABLE, RELEVANT, and TIME-ORIENTED.  

• Specific: What's expected? Why is it important? Think of the "W" questions: Who? What? Why? Which? Where?
• Measurable: If you can't measure a goal, how do you know it's working?  Think of questions such as How much? How will I know when I've achieved my goal?
• Attainable: This makes sure your goal is within reach and not too broad or lofty.  Is this goal possible with my skills and abilities? Is my goal realistic?
• Relevant: This stresses the concept to choice a goal that matters to you. Does this seem worthwhile? Is this goal right for me?
• Time Oriented: Give yourself a deadline or a time-bound goal. Think about When? What can I do today? Where do I want to be in a month?  Break your goals up into small, bearable pieces.
• For example, many might have a new year's resolution "to lose weight."  This is a great over-arching goal, yet it is not a SMART goal.  A revision to our example to meet thee qualifications of a SMART goal may look like, "I am going to join the Pilates Center the first week of January and attend 1 group class per week for the next month."  With this SMART goal, we are setting ourselves up for success by giving ourselves a deadline and starting with small changes.

• Make your goal public!  If we publicize our resolution to our family and friends, we gain a support network and become more accountable to our goals. Talk about your goal to anyone who will listen to it, this makes you more confident about your goal and builds your accountability.

• For example, last year I ran my first marathon.  In October 2013, I told my family and friends that I was going to run a marathon.  They all laughed and thought I was crazy, but every time I saw them from that point till the marathon, they asked how my training was going.  If I was on track with my training schedule, I felt great, and if I had missed a few runs, my guilt from telling them I hadn't trained got me back on track.  I was able to finish my first marathon in February 2014!

• Beware of challenges and road blocks.  Remember that life is not perfect, there are hiccups along the way!  Do not get down on yourself if you hit a roadblock.  The key will be to figure out how to rise above the challenge and move past it.  The key is to not give up because you hit a snag.

• For example, when I was training for the marathon, my mother ended up being hospitalized unexpectedly.  I didn't train for 2 weeks straight. I figured, oh well, maybe next time.  Yet as my mother recovered, I realized I could recover from this road block as well and I got back on track with my training.

• It takes 66 days on average to make a habit.  Most people think it takes 21 days to form a new habit, yet that is an old idea from Dr. Maxwell Maltz's self-help from the 1960s.  For some people it might take 16 days and other over 100 days, it just depends.  Give yourself some wiggle room and don't give up if by February 1st you are right where you were on January 1st!

• Enlist professional help!  Depending on what your goal is, you may need an expert to help you along your path.  We do not know everything and should seek help from others to make our goals easier.  For example, if you're wanting to run a marathon, seek out a personal trainer or a running coach, if you want to re-arrange your attitude, maybe seek a counselor or if you are wanting to eat healthier, seek out a nutritionist. 

Hopefully these tips will help you with your own new year's resolutions!  Good luck to all and may you all have a wonderful 2015 as we say goodbye to 2014!

Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com

What is Mental Health? with Dr. Mike Condra

What is Imago Therapy?

Imago Therapy is an effective form of couples counseling created by Dr. Harville Hendrix.  The focus is on communication and dialogue to create emotional safety among the partners. "The term Imago is Latin for “image,” and refers to the “unconscious image of familiar love.” Using core constructs of intentionality, stretching, ownership, unconditional gifting, dialogue and wholeness (to name a few), partners realize that a conscious relationship is an ever-evolving journey - an unfolding process - rather than a destination.(http://pub.imagorelationships.org/)"

Imago Therapy tries to create a bridge between partners where they can be an advocate for each other's potential.  The form breaks down dialogue and even gives instructions for the sender and receiver of communication.  "The Couple's Dialogue" is key in this therapy style.  In this particular style of dialogue, one partner requests to the other partner that they need a Couple's Dialogue.  The person who requests the dialogue is the Sender and the partner is the Receiver.  Here are instructions for both parties:

• Instructions for the Receiver:
• Active Listening: As your partner talks, do not interrupt until the partner pauses
• Mirror & Summarize: Repeat back what your partner says without adding or taking away from the message.  Use the phrase, "What I heard you say is..."  Don't add questions, insert comments, or change the tone of voice.  You can check to make sure you mirrored correctly by asking your partner "Did I get that?" and also ask for more information if needed, "Is there more?"
• Validate: Validate the content, "What you've said makes sense because..." Through this you are showing your partner that he/she is making sense from his/her own point of view.
• Empathize: Imagine what the other person is feeling about what they just said, "I can imagine that you might feel..." 
• Instructions for the Sender
• Make an appointment: Ask you partner to meet at a specific time so that both partners can make the conversation a priority
• Intentions Statement: Use an introductory statement that lets your partner feel safe regarding what message you are about to send, "I want this to be a win win conversation"
• Stick to one topic: Don't have a hidden agenda with a laundry list of complaints.  The goal is to have a focused dialogue surrounding one concern
• Use "I" Statements: Describe how you feel and what you need.  "I feel anger and scared when I haven't heard from you" versus "You make me angry"
• Tone of Voice: It is important to keep a non-threatening, non-accusatory tone so that no one gets on the defensive.  If you are too angry, you should wait until you are calmer to have a couple's dialogue.
• Word selection: Be aware of the words you use and allow pauses in what you are saying so that your partner has the opportunity to mirror you words. Blaming, labeling, mind-reading, or using absolutes will not resolve the issue and do not belong in this dialogue.
• Actively Reinforce Positive Behaviors: After you partner mirrors what you have said, say something to demonstrate it, "Thanks for hearing me."

Through the Couple's Dialogue, partners can hear one another and come to deeply understand each other without judgement or fear.  If you're interested in learning more about Imago Therapy, review the videos below.



Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Adolescents Coping with Depression Group

Adolescents Coping with Depression Group

A 12 week group for depressed adolescents between 14-18 years old. The group will consist of lectures, discussions, role-plays, and activities surrounding relaxation techniques, identification of irrational/negative thoughts, social skills, communication, and problem solving.

Initial group meeting will be Tuesday September 9, 2014 from 4:00-6:00 pm. The cost of the group is $80 per 2-hour group meeting. To register call Dr. Camelford at 504-390-9538 or email her at kcamelford@thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Click here for a flyer.

Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

How to Avoid Misunderstandings

Ever felt misunderstood?  Misunderstandings are a failure to clearly communicate and are pretty common in today's society.  We misunderstand others in conversations, emails, text messages, and social media. Personal and relationship problems often come from a lack of communication and understanding.  Effective communication is a two-way street in which we must be effective in sending messages, as well as we must be effective in receiving messages to avoid misunderstandings.

Conversation Misunderstandings can be cleared up with a few common tips:

• As the listener, utilize Active Listening
• Be engaged in conversations as the listener by using "following" words such as "ye, uh-huh, really"
• Think about your body language...make eye contact, nod, lean slightly forward towards the speaker
• Pay attention and ask follow up questions or clarity questions
• Paraphrase the message
• As the speaker, send clear and accurate messages by
• Be specific 
• Consider how your body language matches your words
• Look for non-verbal cues from the listener to see if they are understanding the message
• Say what you mean

For written communication, such as email, text messages, etc., misunderstandings may increase due to the lack of tone of voice and body language cues provided in the conversation.  In some ways, that is why emoticons are becoming increasingly popular because they can provide a visual cue to the written words.  Whether you approve of emoticons or not, here are some types for avoiding written misunderstandings:

• Read your message out-loud before sending the message
• Have a co-worker/friend read the message before sending as a tester
• Don't use all caps as it is considered yelling
• Use emoticons
• If the message sounds to harsh upon reading, don't send it! Maybe a phone call or in-person conversation would be more gentle
• Always re-read your work, especially with auto-correct

Hopefully these are easy tips (or most likely reminders) for you to consider and re-incorporate into your communicate skills.  With more mindfulness awareness misunderstandings should be limited!

Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Stages of Change

Change is about mixing it up and doing something different or becoming someone different from the past. Sometimes change is forced upon a person, where other times a person may willingly change something. When one thinks about change, here are some general questions that come to mind: What did I do in the past when I made a change? What is it that I want to do differently? What kind of person will I become? etc. Depending on the type of change, different emotional responses may occur such as happiness, anger, fear, and even doubt.  The goal of this blog is to discuss change, locus of control, and then the stages of change to help anyone identify where he or she may be in the cycle of change.

First off, change can be internal or external.  Internal change is a change that one make's within oneself.  For example, "I am going to start waking up an hour early to work out in the morning."  Whereas, external change is change that is forced upon a person who has little-to-no control over the change.  For example, "My work establishment has changed my hours from 9-5 to 7:30-3:30."  Often times people cope better with internal change since they are intrinsically motivated, where as external change can cause concerns and resistance to change.

Secondly, everyone has a locus of control based on their personality and upbringing.  Locus of control can be defined as whether or not individuals believe that they can control events in their lives.  A person with an internal locus of control believes that they control their own destiny and are in charge of their fate.  A person with an external locus of control believes that others (people, environmental factors, etc.) control their destiny and that life is often left up to chance.  It is important for people to identify what type of locus of control they have because that will help them identify how they will approach change and if they might need more support to make changes than others.  Sometimes, people may identify that something is wrong, but they are not interested in change which is an important piece of awareness.

As a counselor, I like to view change in stages because it gives people the opportunity to make small steps to larger goals and allows for setbacks/slip-ups to occur with the gentle kindness to keep pursuing change.

• Pre-contemplation: Problematic behaviors may not be harmful in this stage, Individual may be in denial of problem, Not really interested in change, Thinking about change
• Contemplation: Problematic behaviors continue, Ambivalence occurs about a potential change, Individual can recognize motives for change, Thinking about change 
• Preparation: Minor adjustments in problematic behaviors may be viewed based on internal or external change, Individual decides to make a change and struggles with how to make change, Determination and planning take place
• Action: Action is taken to address problematic behaviors, Individual may avoid triggers, seek support, or find other ways to cope
• Maintenance: Changes made in action stage are maintained, Individual still faces challenges
• Relapse: Most individuals after making a change return to the problematic behaviors, Individual slips and has self-doubt of change

The stages of change could be viewed in a cycle, where after the relapse occurs, the individual faces pre-contemplation again.  It may take several cycles with the same problematic behavior in order to permanently end the problematic behavior.

So if you are looking to make a change in your life, first consider what type of change it is, then consider your personality traits and your locus of control, and then cater the cycle's of change to your specific need.  If you feel that you are still struggling, then I encourage you to reach out for support from family, friends, or a certified counselor.

Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Adolescents Coping with Depression Group

Dr. Camelford will lead a 12-week group for adolescents coping with depression this fall.  For more information click here.

Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Thought Stopping Technique

Thought stopping is a cognitive behavioral therapy technique that can help anyone break free of continuous thoughts that may cause anxiety by using awareness and practice to change these thoughts.  Thought stopping can be a quick and effective method to distract yourself from your own anxiety by thinking about something else. One can practice thought stopping whenever anxious thoughts start to ruminate in one's mind. Once mastered, you will fill more in control of your thoughts and be able to stop anxious thoughts on command.

Here are some steps to practice thought stopping:

1. Think about what anxious thoughts you have struggled with or are currently struggling with and identify them so that you can have more awareness regarding your own anxiety.
2. Prepare a calming thought ahead of time that you will be able to use in times of anxiety.  For example, "I am peaceful and safe," "I'm on a beach and feel the sand under my feet," or "I am confident."
3. Be aware of your anxious thought.
4. Immediately tell yourself "STOP" in your mind.  For visual thinkers, you may want to visualize a stop sign and for kinesthetic thinkers, you may want to wear a rubber band and gently snap it on your wrist.
5. Exchange your anxious thought for a neutral/ calming thought.  The new thought can either be a general pre-planned thought or you can replace your current thought with something more accepting. For example, if you are anxious on a flight with turbulance and are thinking the plane is going down, a replacement thought could be "That was a bump in the road, we are in good hands with the pilot."
6. Continue to repeat your new thought in your mind, or even out loud if you need, until the anxious thought is extinguished.

Remember for this technique to work, you need to practice the technique! Also, if one visual or statement is not working for you, you may need to try different ones until you find what works best for you.

Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

New Logo

New Logo for the office:

Thrive Counseling Center LLC Office Pictures

Come sit on Dr. Camelford's couch at Thrive Counseling Center LLC, 6660 Riverside Drive Suite 202, Metairie, LA 70003.

Depression: A Powerful Risk Factor for Heart Disease in Young Women

Depression: A Powerful Risk Factor for Heart Disease in Young Women

http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2014/06/19/depression-a-powerful-risk-factor-for-heart-disease-in-young-women/

Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com

Part III: Reducing & Recovering from Burnout

Burnout affects your work performance, job satisfaction, and home life.  Burnout can lead to impairment in your social and interpersonal relationships if left untreated.  The sad part is that many people do not have enough self-awareness to realize they are burned out!  If you took the quiz in Part II and had a high level of burnout, here are some tips for how you can get back on track and demolish your burnout.

Since burnout stems from mainly 3 areas: personal, environmental, and organizational, the first step to combat burnout is to identify where your burnout is coming from our if it is balanced equally between these facets of your work life.  After you have identified what is draining your energy, you can see about making a change in that area.  At this time you may also want to become aware of your values and beliefs to make sure they are aligned with your goals.  This is when some "soul searching" may be beneficial to assess whether or not you are in the right job or career path.  After you have re-aligned yourself, you need to use SMART goals to make changes in your life. (See chart for creating SMART goals)

By creating specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound goals, you will be able to set yourself up for achievable success instead of disappointing failure.  Through achieving goals, your confidence should pick up and you should be headed on the path to recovery from burnout. In addition to making changes in your life, you should seek out some self-care activities to give yourself the time and space necessary to heal and recover.  Self-care techniques include exercise, meditation / relaxation exercises, walking the dog, hot bubble bath, etc.  So often when you are burned out, you do not take care of yourself and you are just taking care of everyone else which creates a vicious cycle that must be broken by healing from within first.

Other Tips:

• If you can delegate responsibilities or advocate for help within your field, now is the time to do it! Don't make yourself a martyr to your workplace.
• Take a break during your work day.  It's important to get up and move around, take a 5 minute walk around the building or do some stretches in your cubicle to get the blood flowing.
• Schedule time for co-workers, family, and friends who can help support you through a difficult time.
• If your burnout is particularly surrounding your job, it may be time to look for something else more fulfilling or a similar position with a different company.
• Finally, anyone who is suffering from burnout might find it beneficial to seek professional help where they can explore the root causes of burnout with a counselor and practice new coping strategies to utilize when these feelings persist in the future.

Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Video: Anxiety Overview

Part II: Signs & Symptoms of Burnout

Based on research by Maslach, burnout is based on 3 areas of work:

• Emotional Exhaustion: Emotionally over-extended feelings create work exhaustion which is a depletion of energy causing distractions and mental fatigue.  Emotional exhaustion is a sign of distress in demanding work.
• Depersonalization: The feeling of detachment at work which creates impersonal responses to your work and a lack of care and commitment.
• Lack of Personal Accomplishment: The feelings of success and perceived competence at work are lacking which creates frustration.  

You may be wondering what Emotional Exhaustion, Depersonalization, and Lack of Personal Accomplishment look like in actual people... So here are examples of signs of burnout:

• Physical Signs: 
• Low energy
• Headaches
• Fast heart-rate
• High blood pressure
• Upset stomach
• Rashes
• Muscle tension
• Sleep issues: either too much or too little
• Appetite issues: either too much or too little
  
• Emotional Signs:
• Boredom
• Loss of control
• Resistance
• Lack of concentration
• Frustration
• Overwhelmed
• Anxiety
• Forgetful
• Incompetence
  
• Behavioral Signs:
• Lack of production
• Increased use of alcohol/drugs
• Increased use of sick days
• Withdrawn from activities
• Change in relationships
• Unresponsive

If you feel that you have some of the above symptoms, you can go one step further and take a self-assessment.  Here is a wonderful quiz to find out if you are burned out or not: http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest=1303.

If you have found out that you are burned out, you may want to seek support from family, friends, and even a counselor to help you manage your feelings, and to potentially look more deeply into your career and other available options.  Burn-out can be cured, but the first step is awareness and recognizing within one's self these feelings.  In my next post, I'll share some prevention strategies and coping strategies to combat burnout.

Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Part I: Defining Burnout in the Workplace

Burnout is becoming a common word in the world of the work.  With longer hours and electronic access 24/7, people are getting "burnt-out" or "fried." But what does that really mean?  Well, read below for more information regarding the definition of burnout.

Freudenberger (1974) defined burnout as “to fail, wear out or become exhausted by making excessive demands on energy, strength or resources” (p. 159). Burnout develops over time and is based on interpersonal and institutional variables (Galek, Flannelly, Greene, & Kudler, 2011). According to Remley and Herlihy (2010), burnout is a process, not a state or condition. Maslach (2003) defined burnout as “a syndrome of emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and reduced personal accomplishment that can occur among individuals who do ‘people-work’ of some kind” (p. 2). Furthermore, burnout occurs when there is a significant mismatch between the nature of the job and people in six different areas: work overload, lack of control, insufficient rewards, breakdown of workplace community, lack of fairness, and value differences (Maslach, 2003).

Freudenberger (1974) first used the term burnout to describe a loss of will at work. Over the latter part of the 20th century, burnout has become a popular term to describe exhaustion and discontent at work (Skovholt & Trotter-Mathison, 2011). According to Maslach and Leiter (1997), burnout is more likely to occur when there is a mismatch between the nature of the job and the nature of the person doing the job. Seven sources of burnout from the workplace environment include workload, control, reward, community, fairness, values, and job-person incongruity (Maslach & Leiter, 2008). The workplace environment is often believed to be the cause of burnout, rather than the individual professional (Skovholt & Trotter-Mathison, 2011). Symptoms of burnout can include deficient energy, being easily irritable, sleep difficulties, headaches, feelings of hopelessness or helplessness, and increased dissatisfaction and depersonalization (Lambie, 2007; Moyer, 2011). These symptoms can lead to inefficient and negligent delivery of work services. Burnout is associated with low morale, increased absenteeism, exhaustion, substance abuse, and isolation (Florio, 2010; Maslach, 2003; Remley & Herlihy, 2010; Skorupa & Agresti, 1993).

Burnout occurs when the needs of the professional and the demands of the job conflict, and it can be defined by three key terms: (a) emotional exhaustion, (b) depersonalization, and (c) reduced personal accomplishment (Maslach, 2003). According to Maslach and Leiter (1997), burnout occurs when professionals experience an erosion of engagement and compassion in the work setting. Emotional exhaustion occurs when there is an over-extension in the job and is often the first reaction to stress of job demands (Maslach & Leiter, 1997). Depersonalization often transpires with emotional exhaustion, creating cynicism and negativity in the workplace which damages a professional's capacity to work effectively (Maslach & Leiter, 1997). Finally, reduced personal accomplishments occur from the feelings of ineffectiveness, inadequacy, and a loss of confidence in one's capabilities (Maslach & Leiter, 1997). As a result of these three processes, burnout impacts the professional, the client, and the work environment.

Now that you have an idea of what burnout is, my next post will explore how does one know if they're burnt-out in Part II and then Part III will explore self-care techniques that may reduce or prevent future burnout in the workplace!

Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

References:

Florio, C. (2010). Burnout & compassion fatigue: A guide for mental health professionals and care givers. Lexington, KY.

Freudenberger, H. J. (1974). Staff burnout. Journal of Social Issues, 30(1), 159-165.

Galek, K., Flannelly, K. J., Green, P. B., & Kudler, T. (2011). Burnout, secondary traumatic
stress, and social support. Pastoral Psychology, 60, 633-649. Doi: 10.1007/s11089-011-
0346-7

Lambie, G.W. (2007). The contribution of ego development level to burnout in school counselors: Implications for professional school counseling. Journal of Counseling & Development, 85, 82-88.

Maslach, C. (2003). Burnout: The cost of caring. Cambridge, MA: Malor Books.

Maslach, C. & Leiter, M.P. (1997). The truth about burnout: How organizations cause personal stress and what to do about it. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass A Wiley Company.

Maslach, C. & Leiter, M. P. (2008). Early predictors of job burnout and engagement. Journal of
Applied Psychology, 93(3), 498-512.

Moyer, M. (2011). Effects of non-guidance activities, supervision, and student-to-counselor
ratios on school counselor burnout. Journal of School Counseling, 9(5), 31 pp.

Remley, T. P., & Herlihy, B. (2010). Ethical, legal, and professional issues in counseling (3rd
ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson.

Skorupa, J. & Agresti, A. A. (1993). Ethical beliefs about burnout and continued professional
practice. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 24(3), 281-285.

Skovholt, T. M., & Trotter-Mathison, M. (2011). The resilient practitioner: Burnout prevention and self-care strategies for counselors, therapists, teachers, and health professionals (2nd ed.). New York: Routledge, Taylor & Francis Group.

Should Obesity be a Psychiatric Disorder?

Check out this interesting story on whether or not obesity should be considered a psychiatric disorder: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/psych-unseen/201406/is-obesity-psychiatric-disorder

Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com

Folklore About Anxiety | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA

Check out common myths about anxiety and read about how to find factual information from the web regarding anxiety:



“Myth-Conceptions,” or Common Fabrications, Fibs, and Folklore About Anxiety | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA



Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Healthy Relationships

There is a great website called Love Is Respect that focuses on healthy relationships.  Here are a couple of their handouts on dating:

Dating Basics
What is Dating?
Dating FAQs
What Should I Be Looking For in a GF/BF?

Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

What is Happiness? Learn How to Be Happy In Life

Are you the one?  Do you choose happiness?



Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Switch Gears: Assessing Your Feelings & Actions

Auto-pilot is something that happens to us on a daily basis because as humans we thrive on routines and schedules. Have you ever thought to yourself: How did I get here? When did I make that sandwich I just ate? Did I lock the door?  These are all typical questions we might ask ourselves when we are on auto-pilot. Based on our over-scheduled lives, auto-pilot helps us function and perform some of our most basic human habits.  However, sometimes auto-pilot can be a bad thing because we forget that we actually have a brain that can switch to a manual shift mode, especially in regards to our mood.  So often we are unaware of the connection between our feelings and our actions.  One goal of counseling is to shine the light on this connection so that we may utilize this connection to make powerful changes in our daily lives. Counseling tries to change your mindset from automatic to manual transmission so that you can make necessary tweaks and gear changes in your life.

Here is a basic awareness activity that anyone can try if they want to become more aware of the connection between how they feel and what they do:

First, identify what happened and your current feeling.  Make sure you use a "feeling" word, sometimes we have a difficult time even identifying our feelings because we tend to suppress them so often.  Feelings include happy, worried, annoyed, mad, excited, upset, sad, bored, sick, glad, scared, nervous, etc.
Example: I noticed dirty dishes in the sink and I feel annoyed.

Second, think about why you feel this way.  Did someone say something? Did something happen? Why are you currently feeling the way you are?
Example: I feel annoyed because I hate dirty dishes in the sink and my husband never puts them in the dishwasher.

Next, think about what you did about it, if anything.
Example: I yelled at him that it was disgusting to leave dishes in the sink and that we were getting fruit flies in the house.  After that, I stormed off into our bedroom and slammed the door.

Finally, think of something else that you could have done.  Try to think of alternatives that may be out of character or that would have made the outcome different.  Sometimes an alternative might include asking for help, doing something else, taking deep breaths, walking away, or talking to a friend.
Example:  I could have washed the dishes.  I could have asked my husband to put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher.  I could have left the dishes and thought oh well, it's not the worst thing.

The above steps can be used for any feeling or action.  Go ahead, put yourself in manual transmission mode and give it a try! You may be surprised by the results of what awareness can do for you.

Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Coping with Anxiety | World of Psychology

One of my earlier blog posts was also published on the World of Psychology Blog, see it below:



Coping with Anxiety | World of Psychology



Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.  Thrive Counseling Center LLC provides therapy and counseling to individuals, families, couples, and groups in Metairie, LA.

8 Lessons From Pets: Attention for Your Partner AND Yourself | World of Psychology

8 Lessons From Pets: Attention for Your Partner AND Yourself | World of Psychology



Fun article, thanks www.psychcentral.com!



Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com in Metairie, LA.

New Beginnings & Transitional Times

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell

New beginnings are often exciting, yet terrifying in people's lives because no one knows what the future holds. Behind the door to your new beginning is unlimited possibilities: successes and failures, ups and downs, and even some smiles and frowns.  The past is sometimes easier to reflect upon because it is finite, it is done and it cannot offer new surprises in your lives.  The past in a sense is easier to control; whereas, the present and future seems mystical and uncontrollable.  Since you do not know what's behind the next door or written in the next chapter of your life, it is important to utilize transitional life tools at these pinnacle times in your life.  These tools give us the strength and courage to aid us in adjusting to a new chapter in our lives.

Just remember the 4Be'S as your Transitions Tool Kit:

• Be Positive: Sometimes you may have to "fake it till you make it" with a positive attitude in a transitional time.  A new chapter can be terrifying which brings in negative self-talk.  It is common to have doubts and hesitation; however you cannot let these thoughts win the battle and defeat you.  You may want to think of a positive slogan to get you through the tough transition.  For instance, "I've got this!" may provide you with an additional boost of confidence and encouragement.
  
• Be Open:  In a transitional time, it is important to be open to new people and new experiences.  To adjust to a new job, new partner, etc. it takes an open-mind.  You cannot compare your past to your future.  For instance, if you are in a new relationship, you cannot compare your new partner to your past idealized partner because if you do this you are setting yourself up for failure!  Your present and future offers you the opportunity to see things in a new light or try things out in a different way.  The hard part about this task is that it takes a certain level of vulnerability.  If you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open, you will learn more about yourself and grow in new ways that will strengthen your character.
  
• Be Realistic: You may have lofty goals  for what your future may hold, which is great as long as they are also realistic.When you enter a new chapter, it is important to have measurable and realistic stepping stones to get you to your future goals.  For instance, if you are starting a new job, you may have the goal of getting an "outstanding" self-evaluation at your 3-month performance evaluation.  Now that you have established that goal, it is important to break down how you are going to achieve this through your everyday activities.  For example, you will be on time everyday this week and you will finish the project a day ahead of the original deadline.  By setting realistic and measurable goals, you are more likely to achieve them.
  
• Be Persistent:  Sometimes it just takes time (which can be tough if you're impatient!)  New beginnings are a test of will-power, patience and character.  A new chapter may have 4 or 5 bad openings that you as the author rip out, crumble up, and toss out; only to start again from the beginning.  You need to give yourself the freedom to fall, stand up, brush off, and try again.  It is only through these mistakes that you can learn how to do things differently and more effectively.  Persistence pays off because it creates dedication and sweat equity.  At transitional times, think about the Pareto Principle, or the 80-20 rule, where 80% of the results comes from 20% of the effort.  Where is your effort?  Are you utilizing your effort effectively? How can you streamline your efforts to maximize results? Through awareness and persistence, you can tackle the challenges of a new beginning.
  
• Seek Support:  Whether you just graduated from college, you are a new divorcee, or you made a career change later in life, everyone needs support from loved ones when transitioning into a new chapter.  Sometimes you may shy away from support because you feel like a failure; however this is often the time you need support the most.  Seek support from your family, friends, and colleagues.  These people are important in your life and want to help!  Through talking to others you can gain companionship and it helps at times when you feel like "you're the only one going through this" (whatever the "this" maybe).  If you feel like you need additional support because your support system "just doesn't understand" then seek out counseling as a resource to add to your support system.

Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com. 

Fruit Group Therapy & Group Therapy at Thrive Counseling Center LLC

We can all use a little humor sometimes! Enjoy this cartoon from www.psychotherapy.net by Victor Yalom.

Group Counseling

Group Counseling is a wonderful opportunity to be a part of a unique counseling experience. Group Counseling is usually compromised of 6-8 clients who meet face to face with a counselor to talk about their concerns. Group members can share their own experiences and learn from peers at the same time. The content of group counseling is confidential and members must agree to not discuss the group outside the counseling office. Group therapy works because it gives us a safe environment to discuss our struggles and try out new experiences.

Upcoming Scheduled Groups at Thrive Counseling Center LLC:
Self-Esteem Group for Adolescent Girls (Click Here for Flyer): This is a 5 week group for adolescent girls between the ages of 13-16. The focus of the group is on defining and building self-esteem through activities and group discussion. Self-awareness, resiliency, stress management, problem-solving, and self-acceptance will be the areas explored. Dates: June 24, July 1, July 8, July 15, and July 22 from 4:00 to 5:20 pm. The cost of the group is $200.00. To register, call Kellie Giorgio Camelford at 504-390-9538 or email her at kcamelford@thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Transitions Group (Click Here for Flyer): This is a 6 week group for students entering into either the 8th or 9th grade as a first time high school student. The group will cover academics, study skills, social skills, social skills, resisting peer pressue, and resolving conflict. Dates: July 29, August 5, August 12, August 19, August 26, and September 2 from 4:00 to 5:20 pm. The group cost is $250.00. To register, call Kellie Giorgio Camelford at 504-390-9538 or email her at kcamelford@thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Available Groups by Request at Thrive Counseling Center LLC:  Once 3 clients sign-up for a particular group, the group will run on a weekly basis and the schedule will be set to meet the group's needs.  If you have an interest in one of the below groups, please call so that I can put you on a group waiting list or we can discuss individual counseling until a group is available.

Infertility Support Group: This group is associated with infertility and the exploration of infertility treatment. The purpose of the group is to provide a supportive environment where experiences can be shared. Topics may include self-esteem, sexuality, intimacy, and self-identity as related to the impact of infertility. 

Active Parenting: This is a 6 week course based on the Active Parenting Series by Dr. Popkin. The series will cover ways to discipline your child without violence, how to build courage and character, how to deal with problems and risks, and much more. The course is a blend of videos, activities, and discussion. 

 
Weight Loss Group for Adults: This group combines behavioral techniques for weight loss along with support from a caring counselor. Come learn techniques about how your thoughts and behaviors can affect your eating habits and gain support from others with similar challenges and goals.

Overweight Adolescents Support Group: This group is for adolescents struggling with issues related to weight. The group will focus on self-esteem, self-acceptance, connectedness, and overall emotional well-being. The group is not intended for weight loss or management, but to assist in coping strategies.

To learn more about group counseling at Thrive Counseling Center LLC and to check availability for upcoming groups, please call me at 504-390-9538 or email me at kcamelford@thrivecounselingcenterllc.com for more information. 

Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Upcoming Summer Groups: Self-Esteem for Adolescent Girls & Transitions to High School Group

Upcoming Summer Groups at Thrive Counseling Center LLC:

Self-Esteem Group for Adolescent Girls (Click Here for Flyer): This is a 5 week group for adolescent girls between the ages of 13-16. The focus of the group is on defining and building self-esteem through activities and group discussion. Self-awareness, resiliency, stress management, problem-solving, and self-acceptance will be the areas explored. Dates: June 24, July 1, July 8, July 15, and July 22 from 4:00 to 5:20 pm. The cost of the group is $200.00.  To register, call Kellie Giorgio Camelford at 504-390-9538 or email her at kcamelford@thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Transitions Group (Click Here for Flyer): This is a 6 week group for students entering into either the 8th or 9th grade as a first time high school student. The group will cover academics, study skills, social skills, social skills, resisting peer pressue, and resolving conflict. Dates: July 29, August 5, August 12, August 19, August 26, and September 2 from 4:00 to 5:20 pm. The group cost is $250.00. To register, call Kellie Giorgio Camelford at 504-390-9538 or email her at kcamelford@thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com 

Boundary Issues in Counseling: Multiple Roles and Responsibilities, 3rd Edition

The book Boundary Issues in Counseling: Multiple Roles and Responsibilities, Third Edition by Barbara Herlihy and Gerald Corey is now available for counselors, counseling interns, and counseling students.  I am happy to have been a contributing author to this book regarding the topic of school counseling and social media.  Click on the link to see information about the book: http://isgweb.counseling.org/ISGweb/Purchase/ProductDetail.aspx?Product_code=78090

This is a great resource for counselors struggling with ethical issues regarding the various roles and responsibilities counselors may or may not have to their clients.

Enjoy!

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7 Things Mindful People Do Differently Every Day and How to Begin Now! | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy

7 Things Mindful People Do Differently Every Day and How to Begin Now! | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy



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Ted Talk by Kelly McGonigal: How to make stress your friend

25 Simple Ways to Improve Your Relationships at Work & Home | The Psychology of Success

Another Sunday night and most of us are dreading the upcoming work week... Read these tips to help you improve work relationships so that you'll enjoy your work environment.



25 Simple Ways to Improve Your Relationships at Work & Home | The Psychology of Success



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RSA Shorts -The Power of Empathy

This is a wonderful short clip explaining empathy.  Empathy and sympathy are very different as you can see by watching this video.  Often times friends provide sympathy because they are unsure as to how to be empathetic to particular life experiences.  Counselors are trained to provide empathy and are willing to go to the deep and dark places with their clients.  Enjoy the RSA Shorts- The Power of Empathy.  Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Styles of Parenting

There are many approaches to parenting, yet effective leadership in a family is similar to effective leadership at work...the right attitudes and skills are necessary for forward progress!  Unlike careers that we have studied and trained for, parenting can just happen. No training involved, no how-to manual, no mandatory training class, etc. which can make it a difficult and unique challenge at times.  Due to this factor and other factors such as culture, personality, socioeconomic status, education level, family background, and religion, various parenting styles exist.  It is common for parents to struggle with the purpose and style of parenting, however it is important for parents to develop an awareness of their parenting style to assess whether or not it is effective for their family. 

The goal for any parent is typically to help protect their child and to help their child develop into an independent, successful adult by instilling values and character in the child.  Parents have good intentions and want the best for their children, yet in order to be effective in parenting, cooperation is necessary from the children which can be difficult at times.  It is at these times where parenting styles are truly tested.  

Here are the 4 main styles of parenting based on the popular developmental research by Baumrind (1967) and Maccoby and Martin (1983):

1. Authoritarian Parent:  This is the "all-knowing" parent that is directive and firm to the child who uses a system of rewards and punishments as a way to keep order in the household.  Authoritarian parents leave little room for children to question or challenge their orders or demands.  This style of parenting recognizes the need for rules, yet it pushed the envelope too far.  In other words, authoritarian parents are "strict" parents that think their motto is "My way or the highway!"  Typically with this type of parenting style, children cannot succeed and typically will rebel or be defiant.
   
2. Permissive Parent:  This is the "do what you like" parent that is passive and does not believe in order, rules, or responsibilities for the child.  Permissive parents give into their children and let their children make their own decisions.  This style of parenting recognizes the need for children to experience freedom and independence, yet because the child has not learned to understand rules and others' viewpoints, the child becomes insecure.  In other words, permissive parents are "easy-going and lenient" parents that think their motto is "Sure dear, what ever!"  Typically with this type of parenting style, children cannot succeed because they struggle with limits or refuse to comply.
   
3. Authoritative Parent:  This is the "well-balanced" parent that encourages order but also helps the child develop responsibility and freedom in the household.  Authoritative parents treat the child with dignity and respect, and allows the child to express his or her thoughts and feelings.  This style of parenting recognizes the need for children to be well-rounded and need a blend of structure and freedom.  In other words, authoritative parents are "reasonable and fair" parents that think their motto is "Watch first, now you try."  Typically with this type of parenting style, children succeed because it first teaches children necessary rules and then allows for children to take on more responsibilities as they grow.
   
4. Uninvolved Parent:  This is the "not there" parent that provides basic needs to the child but does not provide support or guidance.  This is the worst parenting style and can severely damage a child. Uninvolved parents are unresponsive to the needs of the child and are often too busy with their own life to recognize the needs of the child.  In other words, uninvolved parents are "dismissive" parents that think their motto is "Who cares?"  Typically with this type of parenting style, children do not succeed and struggle with self-esteem and behavioral issues.

Although it is clear that the authoritative style provides the best outcome for children, most parents choose a parenting style because they think it is what is best for their family based on their own personal experiences with being in a family.  It is important to remember that each style does have positive aspects and sometimes parents may bounce back and forth between the styles based on the event that arises.  

Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Works Cited

Baumrind, D. (1967). Child-care practices anteceding three patterns of preschool behavior. Genetic Psychology Monographs, 75, 43-88.

Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56-95

Maccoby, E. E., & Martin, J. A. (1983). Socialization in the context of the family: Parent–child interaction. In P. H. Mussen & E. M. Hetherington, Handbook of child psychology: Vol. 4. Socialization, personality, and social development (4th ed.). New York: Wiley.

Available Group Counseling

Group Counseling is a wonderful opportunity to be a part of a unique counseling experience. Group Counseling is usually compromised of 6-8 clients who meet face to face with a counselor to talk about their concerns. Group members can share their own experiences and learn from peers at the same time. The content of group counseling is confidential and members must agree to not discuss the group outside the counseling office. Group therapy works because it gives us a safe environment to discuss our struggles and try out new experiences.

Available Groups at Thrive Counseling Center LLC:

• Infertility Support Group: This group is associated with infertility and the exploration of infertility treatment.  The purpose of the group is to provide a supportive environment where experiences can be shared. Topics may include self-esteem, sexuality, intimacy, and self-identity as related to the impact of infertility.
• Active Parenting: This is a 6 week course based on the Active Parenting Series by Dr. Popkin. The series will cover ways to discipline your child without violence, how to build courage and character, how to deal with problems and risks, and much more. The course is a blend of videos, activities, and discussion.
• Weight Loss Group for Adults: This group combines behavioral techniques for weight loss along with support from a caring counselor. Come learn techniques about how your thoughts and behaviors can affect your eating habits and gain support from others with similar challenges and goals.
• Overweight Adolescents Support Group: This group is for adolescents struggling with issues related to weight. The group will focus on self-esteem, self-acceptance, connectedness, and overall emotional well-being. The group is not intended for weight loss or management, but to assist in coping strategies.
• Self-Esteem Group for Adolescent Girls: This group is for girls between the ages of 13-16. The focus of the group is on defining and building self-esteem through activities and group discussion. Self-awareness, resiliency, stress management, problem-solving, and self-acceptance will be the areas explored within the group. 

To learn more about group counseling and to check the availability for upcoming groups, please give me a call at 504-390-9538 or email me at kcamelford@thrivecounselingcenterllc.com for more information. Once I have at least 3 clients interested in a particular group, we can run the group and set the schedule around the clients. Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

LifeHack: 4Things to Learn for your Therapist

Great article about what you can learn from your therapist

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/4-things-you-can-learn-from-therapists.html

Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Coping with Anxiety

Anxiety, unfortunately, is a normal reality in everyone's life that may peak during certain situations for most. Some typical settings for anxiety include new situations, testing/assessments, performance/evaluation, competition, and even asking something of another can provoke anxiety.  Most of the time, anxiety decreases once the nerve-wrecking activity has started or even ended, yet some people may continue to feel anxious.  Anxiety can be a "gut feeling" or can showcase physical symptoms, such as sweating and fast heart beat.  

Since anxiety is something that everyone has to deal with, it is important to have techniques available which will allow a person to cope with their anxiety.  Coping techniques can help sooth anxiety mentally and physically by training your mind and relaxing your body.  A few techniques one may want to try in order to cope with anxiety include:

1. Deep Breathing:  When feeling anxious, sit up straight for a few minutes (if possible) and close your eyes.  This will help you center yourself and by sitting tall you can feel your breath working through your upper body. Take deep, long breathes in through your nose, hold the breath for a moment, and then slowly exhale through your nose.  You may even want to count as you breath in to 4 and out. Repeat several times to reduce your anxiety.
   
2. Relaxation Techniques:  Various techniques are available for mind and muscle relaxation, check out a previous post where I discussed guided meditation.  The basics for any mind relaxation technique is to sit or lay quietly in a comfortable position and to close your eyes.  For muscle relaxation, you may want to release tension from your body by focusing on individual areas of your body and creating tension in those areas and then releasing it after a few seconds (toes, feet, calves, thighs, legs, gluts, stomach, hands, arms, upper body, mouth, eyes, head).  Once your muscles are relaxed, you may want to continue into a guided imagery where you can imagine yourself in a peaceful place.
   
3. Practice Positive Thinking:  When ever you catch yourself full of worry or having ruminating thoughts, you need to stop yourself by telling yourself "Stop!"  You then need to find ways to re-frame your thoughts into positive or less negative thoughts.  For example, Negative Thought: "I hate meeting new people, I can't believe I have to go to this stupid work event..." can be re-framed to "Meeting new people is difficult but the event is only an hour long, I know I'll make it through."
   
4. Counting / Adding:  Similar to practicing positive thinking,  counting can be a useful activity to combat anxious thoughts because it changes your mind set in the moment.  When you feel overwhelmed in your thoughts, try to count backwards from 1000 or start at 1 and add 7 to each new number.  Counting and adding pulls our mind out of an emotional state and into a logical state where we are solving for a problem and must focus on the logistics.

These techniques can work individually, but they can also work together to create better outcomes.  These activities should be practiced so that anxious individuals are comfortable with these techniques and can use them at any time when anxiety is present.  If you feel that you are still combating anxiety, don't just suffer on your own, seek out  first your physician to rule out any physical complications, and then seek out individual counseling or a counseling support group for anxiety so that you can gain support, learn more coping techniques, and work on the underlying causes of your anxiety.  

Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Psychology Today Article on Purpose

I think as humans we all struggle with "purpose."  What is our purpose? How do we fulfill our purpose?  Can our purpose change or evolve as we grow and age?  Many people struggle with finding purpose in their lives since it seems to be something that is ever-changing.

Read this article on making your life's purpose: http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201404/your-purpose-in-life/purposeful-and-fulfilling?tr=HomeColItem

I hope this article helps you to think about your purpose and to motivate you to take steps towards it!

Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Alcohol Awareness Month

April is a month with many important awareness campaigns. One that I would like to highlight today is "Alcohol Awareness Month."

This segment regarding youth statistics is copied from http://www.ncadd.org/index.php/programs-a-services/alcohol-awareness-month:

"Alcohol use by young people is extremely dangerous—both to themselves and to society, and is directly associated with traffic fatalities, violence, suicide, educational failure, alcohol overdose, unsafe sex and other problem behaviors. Annually, over 6,500 people under the age of 21 die from alcohol-related accidents and thousands more are injured. Additionally:

• Alcohol is the number one drug of choice for America's young people, and is more likely to kill young people than all illegal drugs combined. 
• Each day, 7,000 kids in the United States under the age of 16 take their first drink. 
• Those who begin drinking before age 15 are four times more likely to develop alcoholism than those who begin at age 21. 
• More than 1,700 college students in the U.S. are killed each year—about 4.65 a day—as a result of alcohol-related injuries. 
• 25% of U.S. children are exposed to alcohol-use disorders in their family. 
• Underage alcohol use costs the nation an estimated $62 billion annually."

  

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The Counseling Relationship Between Client & Counselor

Counseling is a unique relationship unlike any previous relationship a client has encountered.  As a counselor, I value each of my clients and hope that I will be able to provide the empathetic, warm, and inviting environment needed for the counseling relationship.  Since counselors value unconditional positive regard and openness, the counseling relationship is set up for success in a non-judgemental environment.  Counseling works because it can help bring out the positives of a person and connect a person to the innate social interactions among people.  The key for the counseling relationship is that the client has to "want" to engage within the relationship.

The goal of counseling is to create a new, safe relationship where the counselor works with the client on his or her goals for treatment.  Since the counselor is trained in theories, techniques, and inter-personal relationship styles, counseling offers the ability to create a different type of relationship where one can realize they are not broken, but merely stuck in a difficult place.  In counseling, the main focus of the relationship is on the client and the client's needs.  The counselor is a facilitator of the client's thoughts, emotions, and experiences; and helps to provide valuable insight to the client.  A counselor does not bring in his or her own personal issues, judgements regarding the client, or even advice for the client into the counseling session.  (If you wanted advice, you would have called a friend!). Counselors are trained to do more than merely be a friend one can turn too, counselors have a deeper understanding of life's troubles.  As the client works through challenges, the counselor journeys with the client to feel the client's troubles and seek coping strategies to assist.  The joy of counseling is that your counselor is trained to go to the "dark and scary" places with you and help guide you through the "muck of your mind."  Counseling allows clients the freedom to experiment with different outcomes or possibilities for whatever the scenario or frustration may be.  A counselor is also trained to help a client gain insight or meaning.  A counselor believes in the client and can see positives in the client when sometimes the client cannot see within oneself.  Through the relationship, the counselor works to help the client find his or her voice, as well as challenging the client to see problems from various viewpoints.  Therefore the counseling relationship can be a powerful and unique relationship.

WARNING: The counseling relationship does take time to build so that trust and rapport can be developed.  In addition, sometimes in counseling, a client may feel worse before they feel better because they are coping with tough concerns that have been suppressed for a long time.  It is at this difficult time when a client should stick with counseling, so that his or her counselor can help the client cope with the difficulties and realign the client's thoughts to maintain a healthier perspective.

If you would like to learn more about the counseling relationship or how I may be able to help you, feel free to email kcamelford@thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Myths about Young People and Social Media

Here is a link to an interesting read regarding myths and social media for adolescents and young adults:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201402/five-myths-about-young-people-and-social-media

I hope you enjoy this information.  Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

National Institute of Mental Health: Anxiety & Depression Resources

The National Institute of Mental Health has great resources on their website regarding mental health issues. Here are a few links to resources regarding Anxiety and Depression:

Anxiety Disorders Booklet:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/anxiety-disorders/nimhanxiety.pdf

Depression Booklet:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression/depression-booklet.pdf

Women and Depression Booklet:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/women-and-depression-discovering-hope/depression-what-every-woman-should-know.pdf

Depression and High School Students Fact Sheet:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression-and-high-school-students/depression-high-school-students.pdf

Depression in Children and Adolescents Fact Sheet:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression-in-children-and-adolescents/depression-in-children-and-adolescents.pdf

Postpartum Depression Brochure:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/postpartum-depression-facts/postpartum-depression-brochure.pdf

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The Mind+Body Connection

If you are feeling down in the dumps, it may be time to assess yourself both mentally and physically. Typically, people who take care of themselves physically tend to have better general mental health.  So often when we are stressed, we are also not at our best physically because we are not eating right, working out, or getting enough sleep.  We cannot ignore these physical systems if we think we are going to get better mentally!  There is a definite connection between the mind and the body.  It is important to invest time in yourself and to take care of yourself physically.  Three areas to focus on regarding the Mind+Body Connection include:

• Exercise:  Exercise improves general mental health and well-being.  It can also help with weight management and sleep patterns.  Most doctors recommend at least 30 minutes of exercise a day and it can be as simple as going for a walk.  If you are not use to exercise, start a program slowly so that you can gradually build up your endurance and strength.  
• Sleep:  Poor sleep reduces our ability to function appropriately throughout the day.  Adults should target to get around 8 hours of sleep a night and should attempt the same sleep schedule daily.  Your body likes a "regular" sleep and rise time so that your sleep cycle can remain consistent.
• Healthy Eating:  Healthy eating can be tough to accomplish with so many available and quick unhealthy choices.  Healthy foods can improve your health, manage weight, and help elevate your mood. 

If you are struggling with exercise, sleep, and eating habits you may want to consider keeping a daily journal. In order to become more mindful of your habits, it is important to write them down so that you can analyze where you can make some improvements.  Keep a daily record for one week of your meals, exercise, and sleep patterns.  After the initial week, review your record to see where you can make tweaks to create an improvement in your habits.  Then make a plan and commit to that plan, start with a few changes that you know you can make!  Keep recording your habits so that you can see whether or not you are accomplishing your goals.  Small successes can lead to larger gains both physically and mentally.

*As always, before you start any new program (whether it is for exercise or eating plans) it is best to consult with your physician first.  

Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.

Because I'm Happy

If you listen to the radio like I do, then I'm sure you've heard the Pharrell song "Happy" at least 10 times in the past week.  It's a catchy tune that has a good message in my opinion.  And if for some reason you have not heard the song, click the following link to watch the music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Sxv-sUYtM. The reason I am blogging about this particular song today is because I think it has a great message about choosing happiness.  Plus it is Friday and we are close to the weekend!

In general, music can help us to explore our various moods.  This particular song puts a smile on my face and brings joy.  Music can help us express ourselves and help validate our feelings letting us know that we are not alone in the world.  I like to incorporate music throughout my day and feel that it can be a great outlet in the counseling relationship.

So often we don't really listen to the lyrics of a song, but I think these lyrics have Choice Theory written all over them!  Choice Theory comes from William Glasser, MD and the main point of the theory is that we choose how to behave at anytime.  Glasser believed that behavior is central to our existence and that our behavior is driven by 5 human needs: survival, love, power, freedom, and fun/learning.  Choice Theory believes that we can only control ourselves and that much of human unhappiness is due to failed relationships within our lives.  I personally like Choice Theory because it has many parallels to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  I truly believe that we have the ability to change our mood based on our awareness and thoughts. With both Choice Theory and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, mindfulness is key.

Getting back to the song, Pharrell conveys in his lyrics that happiness is a choice and sometimes we truly have to "fake it till we make it," but that is a choice we have to consciously make.  I particularly like the verse that says:

"Here come bad news talking this and that, yeah,

Well, give me all you got, and don't hold it back, yeah,

Well, I should probably warn you I'll be just fine, yeah,

No offense to you, don't waster your time

Here's why...Because I'm Happy..."

So the next time you start to feel blue because of bad news, a failed relationship, the start of the week, etc., listen to Pharrell's song "Happy" and remember that you have the power within yourself to turn that frown upside down.  And if that's not enough, then reach out to the supports in your life who can help or seek a qualified counselor who can help you get to where you want to be in life.

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Signs Your Teen Needs Counseling

Adolescence is a difficult time in any one's life and with the added social pressures of today's society, teens are facing new and different dilemmas daily.  Teenagers are trying to figure out who they are and what they are about while trying to fit into the crowd at the same time.  The high school years can be a trying time for identity development.  Counseling can benefit any adolescent by providing support and structure to aid in the identity development process yet there are some red flags in teenagers that may indicate the need for counseling.  Some of these red flags include the following:

• Changes in Peer Groups:  If you learn that your teen is switching friends or having different weekend plans than before, this can be a red flag.  One reason for a switch could be that your son or daughter experienced relational aggression or bullying.  Another reason for a switch in friends could be that your son or daughter has decided that he or she needs to be different and wants to explore other "roles" through different group types.  Sometimes your teen will switch friend groups because they are uncomfortable with the activities of the group.  A change in a peer group can be either positive or negative; and when it is a negative experience, your teen may need guidance.
• Academic Changes:  Has your teen's grades dropped suddenly?  Does your teen just not care anymore about school?  Is the teacher contacting you with concerns?  If the answer is yes to any of these questions, something bigger could be happening with your teen mentally.
• Mood Swings:  Yes, all teens can be dramatic and hormonal at times, but that's the key, at times.  If you notice your son or daughter has a shift in his or her mood that is out of character, trust your instincts and seek out counseling.
• Acting Out / Behavioral Issues:  Is your child acting differently or testing the waters at home?  Has your teen been in trouble either at school or in the community?  
• Physical Changes:  Is your teen sleeping too much or not at all?  Is your teen complaining of headaches or stomachaches?  Eating too much or not at all?  Is your teen neglecting his or her hygiene?  
• Alcohol / Drug Use:  If you find any indicators that your teen may be using alcohol or drugs to escape or make themselves feel better this shows a great need for help.

Sometimes it can be difficult to assess whether or not your teen is being normal or in need of help.  I always tell parents to air on the side of caution.  If you see any of the above symptoms, it is important to have your teen assessed by his or her pediatrician and by a counselor.  Your teen's school counselor can be a good resource as the school counselor can assess students and refer teens to local counselors.

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What is the DSM-5?

I hear too often someone self-diagnosing themselves or diagnosing others inappropriately regarding mental illness.  "I'm depressed...," "She's bi-polar...,"  "He's borderline...,"  and on and on and on.  Most of the time,  the average person uses these terms loosely, not knowing the true criteria for an actual diagnosis of depression, bi-polar, or borderline.  Based on this pet-peeve of mine, I thought it might be helpful to discuss what the DSM-5 is and how the helping profession uses this manual to diagnosis clients. This information can be helpful to a client if they want to learn more specifically about a diagnosis either for themselves or a loved one.  It is also important for people to become informed on what the true definitions of some disorders are called so that terms are not inappropriately used in our common language.

The DSM-5 is the American Psychiatric Association Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).  This is the manual that counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists use to diagnosis clients regarding mental illness.  There have been several revisions of the manual as we've evolved in science and in the field of mental health.  For the history of the manual, click on the following link: http://www.psychiatry.org/practice/dsm/dsm-history-of-the-manual.  The manual is divided into categories based on disorders and for each disorder there is a summary of criteria for the diagnosis.  The manual also contains assessment measures to be utilized for diagnosis.  It is not a treatment manual of any kind, but a diagnostic and assessment tool.  To see more information, click the following link: http://www.psychiatry.org/dsm5

The DSM-5 is making waves in the counseling field due to some major changes from the previous version regarding classification.  To highlight a couple major changes: 1) There is no longer a classification for "Asperger Syndrome" under the Autism Spectrum Disorders. 2) The term mental retardation is no longer used, instead the new term is Intellectual Disability (Intellectual Developmental Disorder).  and 3) The DSM-IV sub-types of schizophrenia  (i.e., paranoid, disorganized, catatonic, undifferentiated, and residual types) are eliminated.  To read about more of the changes click on the following link: http://www.dsm5.org/Documents/changes%20from%20dsm-iv-tr%20to%20dsm-5.pdf.

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Cognitive Behavioral Techniques for Weight Loss

Obesity is a growing epidemic in America for both adults and adolescents that is caused by consuming more energy than what is being used through daily activity or exercise.  Genetics also can play a part in the role of obesity.  Obesity can create substantial health risks that include diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, joint discomfort, and even sleep apnea.  There are many management options available to try to reduce weight that include lifestyle changes, medication, diets, and even surgical procedures.

Through the field of counseling, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has evolved as a technique for weight reduction and management to help obese individuals.  Ever wonder how counseling and weight loss can go hand-in-hand?  Well, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been linked to weight loss not because it's a "fad" diet plan, but because if one can successfully incorporate lifestyle changes by changing one's thoughts and behavior patterns, weight loss can be achieved.

The important key for using CBT in weight loss is that you are ready to make changes in your lifestyle, not just for a short period of time, but for the rest of your life!  Moving forward with change can be scary because there are both short-term and long-term costs and benefits.  Therefore, it's important to make sure your mind is set for change and can counteract negative thoughts that have already been programmed into your mind from an early age.  The goal of CBT is to identify your sabotaging thoughts so that you can replace them with appropriate thoughts.  CBT can help with weight loss by providing motivation, coping skills, and support while helping one to take control of her body, improve self-esteem, and help with stress management that typically surround the process of attempting to lose weight.

To begin using CBT in weight loss, one first needs to think about how many calories the body truly needs vs. how many calories a day you are consuming.  My first assignment I often give clients is to keep a food journal.  Food journaling is an important technique in CBT for weight loss because it makes one extremely mindful of everything one eats.  A food journal should consist of what you eat, how much you eat, when you eat, where you eat, how you feel when you eat, and a calorie count.  I know this seems like a lot of information and it is, but all of these questions lead to awareness of your eating habits.  Once there is a picture of your pattern of eating habits, then CBT can be used to train the brain differently with various techniques.


If you want to learn more about CBT in Weight Loss, you may want to consider reading more about CBT for Weight Loss.  There are many wonderful self-help books out there regarding CBT and weight loss, here are a few I personally recommend:

• The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think like a Thin Person by Judith S. Beck, PhD
• The Diet Trap: Feed Your Psychological Needs & End the Weight Loss Struggle Using Acceptance & Commitment Therapy by Jason Lillis PhD, Joanne Dahl, PhD, and Sandra M Weineland, PhD
• The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Weight Management: A step-by-step program by Michele Laliberte, PhD, Randi E McCabe, PhD, and Valerie Taylor, MD, PhD

These books are wonderful resources and can give you a foundation for CBT and weight loss. However, I would encourage you to take one step further and consider counseling for weight loss if you are truly looking to make a change in your life.  The counseling process provides support, motivation, encouragement, and accountability which at times can be difficult to obtain from a self-help book.

If you would like a CBT Weight Loss consultation and you are located in the New Orleans Metro Area, please contact Thrive Counseling Center LLC at 504-390-9538 or kcamelford@thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.  Brought to you by www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com

Guided Meditation

Feeling stressed, anxious, or just that you have no time to get anything done?  Then it may be time to give yourself 10 minutes of your day to follow a guided meditation activity to center yourself and reset your focus.  I know most of you are thinking I can't make time for this, but I truly believe it is very important that you do find time in your busy day to take care of yourself!

Guided meditation can be a powerful counseling tool where an individual is guided by either his or her counselor in session or by a recording outside the counseling session.  Guided meditations range in length of time and purpose.  Some specifically focus on breathing and being aware of your body, while other guided meditations can take you on a journey to a safe place and provide comforting imagery.  The purpose of guided meditation is to help one relax one's body and clear the mind of any ruminating thoughts.

Guided meditation does take some time to master since we typically let our minds wander 24/7!  I would encourage you to start with a short meditation that focuses on breathing and once you feel comfortable with that, you can move on to longer meditations.  After a meditation, you should feel renewed and refreshed.

Thanks to the internet, one can find guided meditations online easily...they also have apps on smart phones as well.  If you would like to try guided meditation, one great website is UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center at http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22

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