Styles of Parenting

There are many approaches to parenting, yet effective leadership in a family is similar to effective leadership at work...the right attitudes and skills are necessary for forward progress!  Unlike careers that we have studied and trained for, parenting can just happen. No training involved, no how-to manual, no mandatory training class, etc. which can make it a difficult and unique challenge at times.  Due to this factor and other factors such as culture, personality, socioeconomic status, education level, family background, and religion, various parenting styles exist.  It is common for parents to struggle with the purpose and style of parenting, however it is important for parents to develop an awareness of their parenting style to assess whether or not it is effective for their family. 

The goal for any parent is typically to help protect their child and to help their child develop into an independent, successful adult by instilling values and character in the child.  Parents have good intentions and want the best for their children, yet in order to be effective in parenting, cooperation is necessary from the children which can be difficult at times.  It is at these times where parenting styles are truly tested.  

Here are the 4 main styles of parenting based on the popular developmental research by Baumrind (1967) and Maccoby and Martin (1983):

1. Authoritarian Parent:  This is the "all-knowing" parent that is directive and firm to the child who uses a system of rewards and punishments as a way to keep order in the household.  Authoritarian parents leave little room for children to question or challenge their orders or demands.  This style of parenting recognizes the need for rules, yet it pushed the envelope too far.  In other words, authoritarian parents are "strict" parents that think their motto is "My way or the highway!"  Typically with this type of parenting style, children cannot succeed and typically will rebel or be defiant.
   
2. Permissive Parent:  This is the "do what you like" parent that is passive and does not believe in order, rules, or responsibilities for the child.  Permissive parents give into their children and let their children make their own decisions.  This style of parenting recognizes the need for children to experience freedom and independence, yet because the child has not learned to understand rules and others' viewpoints, the child becomes insecure.  In other words, permissive parents are "easy-going and lenient" parents that think their motto is "Sure dear, what ever!"  Typically with this type of parenting style, children cannot succeed because they struggle with limits or refuse to comply.
   
3. Authoritative Parent:  This is the "well-balanced" parent that encourages order but also helps the child develop responsibility and freedom in the household.  Authoritative parents treat the child with dignity and respect, and allows the child to express his or her thoughts and feelings.  This style of parenting recognizes the need for children to be well-rounded and need a blend of structure and freedom.  In other words, authoritative parents are "reasonable and fair" parents that think their motto is "Watch first, now you try."  Typically with this type of parenting style, children succeed because it first teaches children necessary rules and then allows for children to take on more responsibilities as they grow.
   
4. Uninvolved Parent:  This is the "not there" parent that provides basic needs to the child but does not provide support or guidance.  This is the worst parenting style and can severely damage a child. Uninvolved parents are unresponsive to the needs of the child and are often too busy with their own life to recognize the needs of the child.  In other words, uninvolved parents are "dismissive" parents that think their motto is "Who cares?"  Typically with this type of parenting style, children do not succeed and struggle with self-esteem and behavioral issues.

Although it is clear that the authoritative style provides the best outcome for children, most parents choose a parenting style because they think it is what is best for their family based on their own personal experiences with being in a family.  It is important to remember that each style does have positive aspects and sometimes parents may bounce back and forth between the styles based on the event that arises.  

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Works Cited

Baumrind, D. (1967). Child-care practices anteceding three patterns of preschool behavior. Genetic Psychology Monographs, 75, 43-88.

Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56-95

Maccoby, E. E., & Martin, J. A. (1983). Socialization in the context of the family: Parent–child interaction. In P. H. Mussen & E. M. Hetherington, Handbook of child psychology: Vol. 4. Socialization, personality, and social development (4th ed.). New York: Wiley.