Auto-pilot is something that happens to us on a daily basis because as humans we thrive on routines and schedules. Have you ever thought to yourself: How did I get here? When did I make that sandwich I just ate? Did I lock the door? These are all typical questions we might ask ourselves when we are on auto-pilot. Based on our over-scheduled lives, auto-pilot helps us function and perform some of our most basic human habits. However, sometimes auto-pilot can be a bad thing because we forget that we actually have a brain that can switch to a manual shift mode, especially in regards to our mood. So often we are unaware of the connection between our feelings and our actions. One goal of counseling is to shine the light on this connection so that we may utilize this connection to make powerful changes in our daily lives. Counseling tries to change your mindset from automatic to manual transmission so that you can make necessary tweaks and gear changes in your life.
Here is a basic awareness activity that anyone can try if they want to become more aware of the connection between how they feel and what they do:
First, identify what happened and your current feeling. Make sure you use a "feeling" word, sometimes we have a difficult time even identifying our feelings because we tend to suppress them so often. Feelings include happy, worried, annoyed, mad, excited, upset, sad, bored, sick, glad, scared, nervous, etc.
Example: I noticed dirty dishes in the sink and I feel annoyed.
Second, think about why you feel this way. Did someone say something? Did something happen? Why are you currently feeling the way you are?
Example: I feel annoyed because I hate dirty dishes in the sink and my husband never puts them in the dishwasher.
Next, think about what you did about it, if anything.
Example: I yelled at him that it was disgusting to leave dishes in the sink and that we were getting fruit flies in the house. After that, I stormed off into our bedroom and slammed the door.
Finally, think of something else that you could have done. Try to think of alternatives that may be out of character or that would have made the outcome different. Sometimes an alternative might include asking for help, doing something else, taking deep breaths, walking away, or talking to a friend.
Example: I could have washed the dishes. I could have asked my husband to put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I could have left the dishes and thought oh well, it's not the worst thing.
The above steps can be used for any feeling or action. Go ahead, put yourself in manual transmission mode and give it a try! You may be surprised by the results of what awareness can do for you.
Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com.
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