Whether we are hopeful for a new job, to lose weight, find a love interest, or whatever else our hope may be, we often set ourselves up for failure with our shiny and bright new year's resolutions. One study from 2007 found that out of 3000 people in the study, 88% of participants who made a new year's resolution failed to keep that resolution! So, why is it so hard to keep a new year's resolution? Why can't we commit to our resolutions and promises to ourselves?
I believe it's because we do not make our resolutions practical! Our resolutions are too lofty, too abstract, and too big to become realistic. Our hopes are just too hopeful. We make a great resolution while talking with friends, under the influence, or because we feel we need some change in our lives, yet come January 5th we've forgotten what that hopeful resolution was in the first place.
Instead of creating life-changing resolutions, we need to focus on small, practical daily changes that may not take a lot of effort to tweak. Here are a couple of pieces of advice to consider as you are creating your own New Year's Resolution:
- Use SMART Goals! A resolution should be SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, ATTAINABLE, RELEVANT, and TIME-ORIENTED.
- Specific: What's expected? Why is it important? Think of the "W" questions: Who? What? Why? Which? Where?
- Measurable: If you can't measure a goal, how do you know it's working? Think of questions such as How much? How will I know when I've achieved my goal?
- Attainable: This makes sure your goal is within reach and not too broad or lofty. Is this goal possible with my skills and abilities? Is my goal realistic?
- Relevant: This stresses the concept to choice a goal that matters to you. Does this seem worthwhile? Is this goal right for me?
- Time Oriented: Give yourself a deadline or a time-bound goal. Think about When? What can I do today? Where do I want to be in a month? Break your goals up into small, bearable pieces.
- For example, many might have a new year's resolution "to lose weight." This is a great over-arching goal, yet it is not a SMART goal. A revision to our example to meet thee qualifications of a SMART goal may look like, "I am going to join the Pilates Center the first week of January and attend 1 group class per week for the next month." With this SMART goal, we are setting ourselves up for success by giving ourselves a deadline and starting with small changes.
- Make your goal public! If we publicize our resolution to our family and friends, we gain a support network and become more accountable to our goals. Talk about your goal to anyone who will listen to it, this makes you more confident about your goal and builds your accountability.
- For example, last year I ran my first marathon. In October 2013, I told my family and friends that I was going to run a marathon. They all laughed and thought I was crazy, but every time I saw them from that point till the marathon, they asked how my training was going. If I was on track with my training schedule, I felt great, and if I had missed a few runs, my guilt from telling them I hadn't trained got me back on track. I was able to finish my first marathon in February 2014!
- Beware of challenges and road blocks. Remember that life is not perfect, there are hiccups along the way! Do not get down on yourself if you hit a roadblock. The key will be to figure out how to rise above the challenge and move past it. The key is to not give up because you hit a snag.
- For example, when I was training for the marathon, my mother ended up being hospitalized unexpectedly. I didn't train for 2 weeks straight. I figured, oh well, maybe next time. Yet as my mother recovered, I realized I could recover from this road block as well and I got back on track with my training.
- It takes 66 days on average to make a habit. Most people think it takes 21 days to form a new habit, yet that is an old idea from Dr. Maxwell Maltz's self-help from the 1960s. For some people it might take 16 days and other over 100 days, it just depends. Give yourself some wiggle room and don't give up if by February 1st you are right where you were on January 1st!
- Enlist professional help! Depending on what your goal is, you may need an expert to help you along your path. We do not know everything and should seek help from others to make our goals easier. For example, if you're wanting to run a marathon, seek out a personal trainer or a running coach, if you want to re-arrange your attitude, maybe seek a counselor or if you are wanting to eat healthier, seek out a nutritionist.
Hopefully these tips will help you with your own new year's resolutions! Good luck to all and may you all have a wonderful 2015 as we say goodbye to 2014!
Brought to you by Thrive Counseling Center LLC in Metairie, LA at www.thrivecounselingcenterllc.com
